Final Thoughts on Cross Cultural Communication

As so another semester zooms past and it's time to mug for the exams again. Learning about the diverse ways in which people interact has been enlightening. I especially enjoyed the lecture on cultural components - how spoken/written discourse can in fact reveal deeper underlying norms and values about the society (whether it's masculine or feminine, whether it exercises high or low power distance and so forth). Group discussions were fruitful, we all got to bounce ideas off each other and have a good laugh at each others amusing linguistic encounters. My final project of analyzing the linguistic structure behind sociological abstracts was..daunting in the initial stages. The linguistic jargon got a bit confusing at times, and having to identify the various "moves" and "authorial stance" was rather tedious. Luckily we managed to pull through and I thought we did just fine, so yay Huey Li! Haha I have a newfound respect for linguists. It really does require researchers to be ultra meticulous in sifting out patterns behind discourse material.

And so it's also time for goodbyes. Thank you Dr Deng for being so patient with us each week and for trying to make the lectures as enjoyable as possible for us:)Twas a refreshing experience and I've definitely gained from it all. To my other classmates, it was a pleasure knowing you all, good luck for your upcoming papers and see you around:)

On Gender Interaction

Alrighty, I shall attempt to blog on the topic even though I didn't attend last week's lecture. I tend to engage a lot of hedge and epistemic modal forms to mediate my conversations. Like on tuesday, when I sent out a short email to the teachers at my church to tell them that I'll be planning lesson this weekend.

"hey all, i'm doing lesson on sat. i don't think i'll be planning a party. i'll just do a tiny recap and try make the lesson as lighthearted as possible. i'll be glad to hear suggestions though. i'm thinking of showing a video, that teaches them on using their christian values outside of the classroom. and maybe do a short discussion."

Above were the exact words that I used. I've also picked out and underlined the mitigating terms. I'm actually quite surprised at myself though- at the frequency I use them considering it's really not a lengthy email. Nonetheless, I do believe it's true that we shouldn't make broad sweeping assumptions about gendered language. It probably depends on the writer/speaker's own characteristics/traits too. I'm not an assertive person by nature (and ultra non confrontational), so I usually give plenty of room for alternative perspectives. I'd like to think it's not that I lack confidence, but because I'm gracious enough to allow other people to share the centrestage with me ;)

On Computer Mediated Communication

I'm not terribly enthusiastic about the whole concept of internet/tech lingo. I'd prefer to keep things fuss free and stick to uncontracted lexical forms when I'm chatting online. Actually come to think about it, i get rather peeved with friends who use netlingo that I don't quite comprehend. Maybe its cos I'm not happening enough. Haha I took the longest time ever trying to figure out simple conversational terms like lmao, rofl, atm and whatever else. Plus i think it's really true that guys and girls abide by different CMC patterns. My guy friends tend to be more straightforward in initiating/opening a topic, while my girl friends tend to be more emotionally expressive/supportive especially amongst each other. I've created a link to this youtube video on breaking up via sms, HERE. Youtube won't let me embed it, so you have to go directly to the website. Go watch! It's hilarious:) See you all in class later!

On Politeness and Face

Out of all the Politeness Maxims, I've narrowed down to three that I most commonly encounter and/or use.

Tact Maxim - I use this when I'm delegating shitty tasks and when I'm running late. For instance, I knew I was going to be behind time for an appointment with my friend because I missed two consecutive buses to town. Our meeting place was supposed to be at the bus stop in front of Tangs. So I texted her, telling her that it was it was "not my day" because I was unlucky enough to miss both buses and told her, since the weather was so sweltering hot, to shop around inside of Tangs first instead of waiting outside. In that sense I was minimising her 'cost' of action by providing her with the 'benefit' of having time to shop around more, before I reached. Oh man. It sounds really sneaky when I phrase it that way.

Approbation Maxim - On most occasions I subscribe to the belief that, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all". So if my friends ask me whether or not they look good in a new haircut or outfit, I try to be encouraging even if I don't particularly fancy it. I find it's useful to be vague with my answers and say something like "It's not my taste/style, but..". Indirect comments might also be, "It's okay only la" or "Not bad lor". I guess then it qualifies as half-truths?

Agreement Maxim - When I disagree with an opinion, I'll attempt to work out a middle-ground though I'm careful not to go overboard to the extent of sounding hypocritical. There was once I dragged my friends to see a random arthouse film, they ended up getting frustrated about not understanding the film's concept/storyline and hence not making their money's worth. And I, being grateful that they were already accompanying me, tried to appease them by picking out sections of the film that I thought were less engaging, even though I did eventually get to the point that "on the whole I found it was rather watchable".

On Communication Systems 1

First off I thought the video was an enlightening, if not a little backdated, look at the cultural variability that exists in transnational societies today. In my humble opinion, Singapore is perpetually caught in between keeping up with 'Western' advancements (in terms of economic competitiveness, social well-being & political liberalism) and hanging on to our traditional Asian roots. There's a constant rhetoric of "shared values" which reflect Confucian notions of collectivism. Singaporean are taught obedience to authority, and to generally be accepting of unequal power relationships - which probably accounts for our bemoaned state of political apathy.

During class we also found that Singapore is a low uncertainty avoidance country, but I'd beg to differ. I believe that Singaporeans (at least those around me) are a meticulous bunch who make only carefully calculated risks. Sad to say but we're generally uptight and neurotic, as compared to being flexible or going with the flow. Yeah no doubt we do face rapid lifestyle changes but more often than not, we grudgingly accept it as the inevitable as opposed to embracing change with wide open arms. We're not too tolerant of deviant characters too, but frown upon people who refuse to conform. Life on our little red dot is structured and stressful. Just ask the primary school kid who's lugging a schoolbag too heavy for his weight, who sits through endless tuition and enrichment classes in the weekends. Okay I'm rambling on a bit, but you get my point.

Here's where Singlish comes in as a familiar colloquial language that unites most of cosmopolitan Singapore. This mad rojak of English, Hokkien and Malay phrases, is a localized version of the 'proper' English left behind since colonial times. There has been a lot of controversy (embarrassment and scorn, to be exact) about Singlish being a cultural marker of what's uniquely Singaporean. But honestly, learning how to speak 'proper' Singlish is a formidable skill altogether. It is this common linguistic experience that Singaporeans find comfort in, it's what feels like home - the effectiveness of which lasts beyond any compulsory National Education program.

On Written Discourse

Okay, this week's lecture left me rather doubtful about Kaplan's generalizations on the circular style of Oriental writing. From the classic Li Bai's "Bedfront Moon Bright Bright" poem, we learned that Chinese written discourse tends to use indirect, abstract analogies to indicate what they really mean. But i wasn't (and still am not) entirely convinced so i decided to test out another example. As a primary school student eons ago, I remembered having been forced to memorize another Chinese poem, by 杜牧 (Du Mu) called Qing Ming. Some of you might find it familiar ;)  

Credits to this website

I'm going to attempt my own translation at this, pardon my very lousy grasp of Mandarin.
First Line: It's drizzling heavily during the Qing Ming (i.e Tomb-Sweeping) season 

Second Line: On the roads, people are gloomy and despondent 

Third Line: I ask if there is a tavern nearby 

Fourth Line: Shepherd Boy points out a distant village surrounded by apricot blossoms. 

Actually the poem does somewhat fit into the qi-cheng-zhuan-he structure. Du Mu sets the atmosphere, develops the scene by introducing peripheral characters. Then he presents himself in first-person, posing a random question. And the final line serves as a proper "closing" that sums up everything Qing Ming is about! In Singapore, during Qing Ming festival (which happens around April each year) we're supposed to visit the tombs of our ancestors to pay our respects and tidy up the place. But in China, Qing Ming also marks the beginning of spring, and the apricot blossoms mentioned draws parallel with that. 

I still do think that Kaplan's perspectives are highly debatable though. Especially in today's globalized context, where there is an increasingly creative fusion of diverse language styles. 

On Spoken Discourse

Telephone conversations can be hugely therapeutic and I'm one of those girls who can spend several hours yakking over the phone about nothing in particular. So the lecture on spoken discourse got me really intrigued about my own speech patterns and how it related to Alexander Graham Bell's mighty invention. On Wednesday night I engaged in a mini participant observation of sorts while talking to my friend over the telephone. I'll list the couple of insights I've gained from my own phone-calling habits.

Whenever I call my close friends, I'll always say something along the lines of "Hello, _______ ah?". And the other party replies "Yah Grace, why what's up?". Then I'll answer with "No la/It's nothing much/It's no big deal, I just ________. " The opening sequence is fairly predictable cos I'll almost always be the considerate caller and ask if my friend is busy/doing something/free to talk. Hey, time spent over the phone is still precious time.

Warrants (like "okay", "yah lor" and "um"), instead of solely being pre-closers, might indicate the speaker's wish to move on to another subject cos the one being discussed has exhausted its potential in a sense. Like I realized that when I said "okay la" in response to my friend's comment, I wasn't looking to end the phone conversation. Rather, I had been reminded about another recent happening that I was desperately looking to share. If I really want to say bye, I tend to use the school-related excuse of having to rush assignment/sleep early to rush assignment next day. Evidence that I can still get my priorities right when I want to.

I'd like to make an observation about silence too. I really do believe that a mark of close friendship is the fact that you can spend time in comfortable silence with each other, and not get the awkward feeling like how you do with acquaintances. Even over the phone when I'm catching up with a long-time pal, we sometimes lapse into about 3 to 5 minutes of silence to hit the "pause" button and somehow indulge the moment. 

I'm still learning another surprising side of myself every now and then. I'm sure we all are:)